I thank God that we made it there in time to get to see Paps before he passed. He was not able to communicate at that point but he opened his eyes a few times and I think he knew we were there. We had no idea how long he would be alive in the state he was in. As one of our doctor friends said “it could be a day, it could be a week”. So we left Saturday afternoon and headed to Des Moines. Saturday night at 11:15 pm we got a call that Paps had passed. Brutal. Why didn’t we stay just a bit longer? Was he alone? Did he know we had been there? Why hadn’t I called him last week like I’d planned? Why couldn't he have made it just 3 more months to meet his great-granddaughter? Some questions we will never have the answers to but you have to just push them aside and tell yourself that Paps knew he was loved. And even though I wasn’t always the best granddaughter (I should have called more often, sent more cards, etc, etc) I think he knew that I loved him. I have to believe that. Otherwise it will eat at me for the rest of my life.
I stayed in Des Moines with Kara and Todd and Wade unfortunately had to travel back home to be on a flight to New Jersey on Monday. Paps’ funeral was Wednesday and it was a very nice, small service. Then we traveled to Galesburg on Friday where I met back up with Wade.
So we finally got home after nearly 10 days away last night at 8:30. Possibly the longest week ever. I’m exhausted. I had my first baby shower on May 1st that I want to tell you all about but it will have to wait.
Little Nugget has another guardian angel watching over her now. I miss you and love you Paps.
10 comments:
Oh dear...my heart absolutely aches for you. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Oh honey, I’m sorry to hear that. He did know you loved him; grandparents are good at knowing that stuff.
I'm sorry Kellie. All my love to you and your family.
Oh, honey. My heart is hurting for you. Sending big, huge bear hugs your way :-(
so sorry to hear. sending hugs and love your way.
I'm so sorry for your painful loss. Grandfathers and granddaughters have such special relationships, and there is nothing like it. I'm so glad that you have such a wonderful family to lean on.
You and your sister look exactly like your mom! All of you beautiful, of course.
oh kellie. i am so very sorry.
i lost three grandparents in one year, and it was really hard. and i wasn't the best granddaughter ever, that is for sure, but i know/hope they didn't really hold it against me.
hang in there. give wade a hug, and cuddle that belly of yours.
I'm so so sorry Kellie. I lost my Grandpa a year ago this month. I know how tough it can be. My prayers are with you and your fam!
Oh I'm so sorry about your grandad but he knew you loved him and like you say, he'll be looking down with great pride when your little girl arrives
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfather a year and a half ago, and I still miss him often. Guess that means he was a pretty awesome guy, as I am sure yours was as well. Sending love your way. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
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