Holy Hell

This last week was the week from hell. Charlie came down with what we thought was just a cold last Thursday night. The next morning she had a fever and was so full of boogers we titled her the "Booger Queen". Seriously they were even coming out of her eyes. Look. Disgusting. Anyway, by Saturday night I had it. We're talking achiness, headaches, fever, chills, congestion and cough. And ZERO energy. It was murder. All that fun stuff lasted 2 1/2 days and then finally the aches and fever went away and left me w/ a nose so stuffed up I couldn't breathe at all (I became a mouth breather!!!) and still ZERO energy. With all the sinus pressure I actually have a toothache from it! I've never had anything like this before.

This brings us to today which is NINE long, brutal days after I first came down with this. I've gone through 3 boxes of kleenex, 1/2 box of Sudafed, 2 1/4 bottles of Dayquil and 1 1/2 bottles of Nyquil and my nose looks like it got in a fight with a jaguar and lost it's so raw and red. I am still congested and have a cough but I feel like it is finally going away. Seriously, this kid bringing home all these viruses is going to kill me. And somehow Wade avoided it thank God b/c he was my saving grace through all of this. He took care of Charlie and the housework b/c it was all I could do to muster up the energy to get up and go to the bathroom and not just pee on the couch.

So thank you hubs. You rock. Seriously. I could not do this without you.

You know who else rocks? Charlie. She handled this flu like a pro. She only had one bad night of sleep and was a little crabbier than normal and wouldn't eat much but with how happy she normally is it wasn't a huge deal.

So yeah. I feel like I fell off the face of the earth for the last week. So hello everybody, I'm back to the living it seems.

And we arrive in Amsterdam

Ahhh...Amsterdam. I think this was my favorite stop of our trip probably b/c Amsterdam is so Americanized that it was just easier. There is virtually NO language barrier and it's very easy to grab a quick meal on the go if that is what you want. Plus there is SO much to do! (And it didn't hurt that Wade's hotel points got us into the Crowne Plaza which was just newly renovated and our room was not only huge and gorgeous but all new and clean, so it was perfect for our last stop!)

We got into Amsterdam around 8pm, dropped our luggage off and went to dinner at an Argentinian steakhouse. Wade was excited to have steak and a baked potato instead of the french fries that we had been eating nonstop. Wade is a new fan of eating his french fries with mayo though. The Europeans put mayo on EVERYTHING. I swear. I love mayo but even I have limits. It doesn't seem that they do. :)

After dinner we decided to head out to find a place for some drinks. We stumbled into the Grasshopper bar which is huge but it was such an overpriced tourist trap. It cost us $15 Euro for 2 beers. That is ridiculous. So we only had 2 drinks each and called it a night fairly around midnight. We figured that since we had 2 more nights in Amsterdam to party it up we'd keep it easy that night. The next day I wanted to go to the Van Gogh museum so we loaded up on their tram which makes the city very easy to navigate (but really you could walk it all which is what we ended up doing by the end of our stay). We get to the museum and see that it is $12.50 Euro per person! It was going to cost us $25 Euro (which is about $33 US) just to go into the museum (which Wade wasn't all that thrilled about in the 1st place I don't think) so we cancelled that plan and started wandering back towards the center of the city. We did some shopping and took some pictures and then headed toward the Anne Frank house. Fail #2. The line was INSANE. So we cancelled that plan as well and headed to a pub (that NEVER fails).

After a few beers we decided to try one more place. The Amsterdam Sex Museum. When in Amsterdam you've got to do something sex related right? It is the Red Light District city and all. So luckily, only a short line and only $3 Euro apiece and we're in.

We saw an American icon...

We saw some giant cocks...

And we saw some very disturbing things (seriously, WTF is that?!?!)...

But all in all a fairly interesting museum and hell it was cheap and we got to see peen and vag which is always a good time. Haha!

That night we headed to Teasers for drinks. We didn't know it at the time but every hour or so dancers would come out and dance around the bar. We ended up staying the whole night there before heading out to "explore" the Red Light District. I was a bit nervous that we'd be propositioned left and right b/c we're so hot and all but the area is really quite nice actually. Well, as nice as a prostitution area can be anyway. :) We only had one touch Wade's shoulder and say "I can do you together". The rest just put on their sexy face and posed in their doorways. It was pretty funny really.

Another odd thing in Amsterdam, these "toilets" that are out on random street corners throughout the city. Wade took advantage of them since it seemed more often than not places charged for the use of their toilets. Unfortunately they didn't have any for women! :)

This guy was in one of the pubs we stopped at and when the Baywatch theme song came on he started "swimming" in the air on the barstool. It gave us a good laugh.

Our final day in Amsterdam showed us the only bad weather of our trip (besides the small showers we had in Germany). It rained until almost 5pm so we went out to get some lunch and then holed up in our room for a bit, watched some TV, played some DSI and I took a short nap. When I woke up it was clearing and we headed out again. This time we found another Irish pub in the RLD and settled in for some beers. We had no idea we'd end up there for the rest of the night!

We ended up sticking around for happy hour and another hour and another hour and another until when we finally got up to leave I realized I could barely walk. Thanks to my hubs for helping me make it back to our hotel. I was super smashed! :) Wade said it was like a reenactment of our 1st date. He'd thought I was fine and going one for one w/ him until all of a sudden I was a drunken pile. Oops. At least I didn't get sick! :) And we made some English friends too! (Notice my drunk ass in this picture, yes, I look super cool)

Me & the bartenders

The next day we woke up early and headed to catch a train to the airport to head back home. I was ready to get back to the states. Although we had an absolute blast on our trip of a lifetime there truly is 'no place like home' and I really missed my Kobe.

Bonjour my lovers!

And we're back. We got back to the good ole USA on Monday afternoon. I took Tuesday off to recuperate and I actually got all of the 450+ photos from our trip loaded onto the computer and even my favorites onto Facebook.

We had such a great trip. It was unreal. I figure for blog post purposes that I'll break our trip summary up into 4 different posts (one for each trip stop). So we'll begin with Paris.

I landed in Paris at 9:30am (but it felt like 2:30am to me). I was nervous to find the meeting spot that Wade had told me to meet him at. After finding what I thought was the right spot I paced around waiting for Wade to arrive on his train. When I finally saw him it was so great. I had missed the hell out of him!

I was beat from the plane ride and time difference but there was to be no rest for the weary! We are in Paris!

Our first day consisted of walking around to get acquainted with the neighborhood we were in which was perfect b/c there were restaurants EVERYWHERE and we were directly across the street from the train station that we were scheduled to leave from. We wandered down to Notre Dame, the Isle of St. Louis and walked along the Seine, stopped in an Irish pub for a brew and finally headed back to the hotel for some dinner and wine and passed the hell out.Our 2nd day we slept in, walked down to the Louvre (which was free b/c it was the 1st Sunday of the month = perfect!) and then started heading toward the Eiffel tower. We were thinking we'd find somewhere to eat along the way and grab some grub and drinks but once you head out of the gardens surrounding the Louvre there really isn't anywhere to stop between there and the Eiffel tower. So by the time we got there I was beat (it was a long walk!) and starving and really wanting a drink! We got a Coke that ended up costing us $5 (oops) and then waited in line to go up the tower. The view from the 2nd level was amazing!

After that was over and done with we found a cafe and drank some wine while waiting to meet up with Chris and Crystal for dinner. Chris was Wade's roommate in Lyon during his MBA course and he and his wife were in Paris at the same time as us. We had a great steak and french fries (they serve french fries w/ EVERYTHING and mayo w/ the fries) dinner along w/ some overly expensive (but tasty) wine and then headed to the gardens by the Eiffel Tower to watch the light show. Chris and Crystal had so nicely brought along 2 bottles of wine and we popped those suckers open and plomped down on the grass to drink, chill and watch the lights. I must say the light show was kind of lame although it was pretty. But the whole night was a blast (from what I can remember)!

The only bad thing is that there is nowhere to pee! So I held it in for so long that I eventually had to pee in the bushes. Fun. And then by the time we left it was SO late that we couldn't find a bus and I couldn't find a toilet and we had a very very long walk back to our place so I thought I'd try to pee behind a post on a building. Not a good idea. A guard caught me, Wade shit his pants and then I had to rinse my pee down with a bucket of water the guard gave me. But well, when you gotta go, you gotta go! The French could learn a thing or two about making toilets more accessible! Even when you finally can find one it will cost you money to use! Absurd!

Oh yeah, and quite possibly one of the best parts of Paris... a bird shit on Wade's head while we were waiting for our train. Hahahahaha! Awesome. :)

All in all, Paris was a great city to visit. Until next time... Au reviour.

Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Peeing on Your Coffee Table

So I’ve got a funny story to tell but I’ve been taking some time to try to put it together b/c I don’t want to name names due to some possible embarrassment. In all honesty I think it is funny now that it is all over with. So…how do I begin?

It all started last Friday night. Wade and I decided to have some friends over to celebrate after the trick or treating was done with. It ends up being a good sized group of people hanging out in our garage and drinking some tasty beverages. We all end up getting pretty toasted. The night is getting late and it has dwindled down to just 2 guests left. They were going to get a cab but being that it is Halloween the cab companies were busy and there was no way they were going to be getting one to drive out to the burbs to take them home at 2 am. So we head inside and start playing drunk Mario Kart and Guitar Hero. I end up crashing on our couch shortly after that.

Around 5 am I awake to a weird sound. It takes me a moment to realize I passed out in the family room and I’m not alone. I soon realize that the sound I’m hearing is a dripping noise. I look up to see Raul* on his knees and peeing on our coffee table. WTF? I begin screaming “No Raul! No! Stop!” He looks up all bleary eyed and says “Huh?” I run to the kitchen and grab a handful of paper towels and throw them at him and then run off to find an old towel to use. When I come back into the family room I see a puddle of pee on the rug where all the pee ran off of the coffee table and I see Raul trying to wipe up the pee from the table top. During all of this I’m still not even sure if he is awake or not (he was pretty drunk). I sop up the pee puddle on the rug and look around. Raul’s gotten the pee on the table wiped up and things seem to be cleaned up good enough for now. I get a blanket for Raul and he lays back down on the couch and I head upstairs to bed. I wake Wade up from his deep slumber and tell him what just happened downstairs but he is so tired it barely registers.

The next day Wade asks me what was I saying to him in the middle of the night about pee on the coffee table. I explain to him that I awoke to find Raul peeing on our coffee table in a drunken stupor. He laughs it off until he realizes that some pee may have dripped through the middle of our table and into the storage compartment under it. Our table opens up to a drawer under it for storage and it has a crease in the center in order for it to open and I didn't even think of that in my frantic state of clean up. As Wade slowly pulls up the table leaf he says that if Raul peed all over the inside of the table he’s going to freak. He sees 2 little wet spots the size of quarters on a board game. Thank goodness that is all that dripped inside. We promptly sanitized the board game and everything in the near vicinity. Pee be gone!

The funny thing about Raul is that this is not his first drunken pee incident. He had one in a hotel room corner as well. And one time when he drunk passed out at our house he slept walked and took a shower at 3 am. I was still up and thought it must have been Wade taking a shower so I open the bathroom door and say “Wade?” and get a response of “No”. That was a surprise. So we have a trashed shower taker and party pee-er friend on our hands. He now has to be supervised when getting trashed at our house, either that or wear diapers.

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the party pee-er.