Saturday was promising to be a fun time. We did some housework during the afternoon (not the fun part) and then got ready for the booze cruise. Zach, a friend of mine since elementary school, invited us to join him and some other friends on Lake Minnetonka for a 3 hour cruise around the lake. I was really looking forward to this since I’ve never been on one and have been wanting to since we moved up here 3 years ago. The night was perfect for it too. We met some new people who were all very nice and fun to talk with and then decided to continue the booze fest downtown. Zach graciously offered us his 2nd parking spot in the enclosed garage at his condo downtown and we headed out. This is where things get fuzzy for me. Considering I had already consumed a number of drinks on the booze cruise I was feeling pretty good, and I think I only tripped once while walking from Zach’s to the bar, not too bad considering the heels I was wearing. We get to the bar and I was having a blast. And things were going great. And then the shots were ordered. Who ordered me the first shot is a hazy memory. I can’t really recall. But I do remember gagging to keep it down. This should have been my first indication to stop. Instead I ordered myself a new drink to get the taste of that nasty shot out of my mouth. By this time EVERYONE in the bar is my new BFF. And lucky me, one of my new BFF decides to order me another shot. Why? Why? Why? But the better question is why did I take it? Well, in actuality, I only took ½ of it. It was huge and nasty, and I about puked when I took it. So I apologized to my new BFF and told him I couldn’t finish it unless he wanted to see what the insides of my stomach looked like. He agreed that he did not want to see that, so I thanked him and went back to my table. Little did I realize that within the next 15-20 minutes my whole table would get to see that not so pleasant site.
(I apologize before hand b/c the next part of this story is disgusting, I am humiliated by it, and am vowing to never have it happen again. I’m really not even sure why I am divulging this to you all, but it is the truth. I am a lush and a bad one at that.)
As I am sitting at the table I suddenly get hot; I mean sweating, gross hot. My mouth started watering and I’m pretty sure my face turned an unattractive shade of white. I knew I was going to hurl. I also knew there was no way I could make it all the way downstairs to the bathroom in time (seriously, who makes a bar w/ the bathroom all the way in the basement???). In that nano-second before my stomach contents came out to play I determined I would rather toss my cookies into an empty cup sitting at our table than in the stairwell where it would most likely end up on some poor disgusted bar patron. So I grabbed a cup, turned to my side, and let it fly. In that second I’m sure poor Zach regretted inviting me along that night and I’m also sure Wade regretted ever marrying me. How humiliating. Thank God I couldn’t see my friends faces (most of whom I had just met that night) as I tossed my cookies at the table. I’m sure most of them looked like this:
I don’t really remember leaving the bar at that point. I’m sure Wade grabbed me as fast as he could and took me out of there. We found a cab and headed home. Being the gracious pukee that I am, I continued to get sick while in the cab but I made sure every last drop of it went outside the car. I know the driver HATED me; however he should have been pleased that none of it ended up inside the car. You are welcome Mr. Cabbie.
Wade says I drink like a college freshman. I disagree with that though. I never did throw up in a cup at the bar my freshman year. Although it would have been much more acceptable had I done it back then rather than 10 years later. What a bad night it ended up being. To those of you who had to witness that unbelievably disgusting site, I apologize. A very deep down, honest apology. And Zach, should you ever consider inviting us out sometime again please realize, that’s not in my normal routine.
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In other, less mortifying news, we got the bench seat built on the deck. And when I say we, I mean Wade. Yay Wade! Now it just needs to be stained to match the rest of the deck and we’ll be set. The railing is going to wait until next year. It’s not even required for code, however we thought w/ all our drunk friends (i.e.: ME) we’d want something to stop their fall over the 2 foot edge. Safety first!
One of the several bad fight scenes
The hat, the bow tie, the jacket piping, it’s all priceless.
