Gadzooks! When did I get old?

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’m not sure why, but for some reason this year I feel so much older. 31 seems way worse than 30. When I was 30 it was like I was basically still 29 b/c it’s so close but now, well, 29 isn’t close anymore and I’m definitely in my 30’s. I’ll blame these feelings on my pregnancy hormones and my fat pregnant face (and arms and thighs and cankles and… well everything else).

Tonight Wade is motorcycle racing in Shakopee and hopefully can win some moolah. Last weekend he took a spill at his flat track race and ended up breaking his big toe (but he still won his main event! Badass!). The doctor gave him this silly looking foot brace thing that he has wore a total of 30 minutes while he weed whipped the yard. He is walking on the outside of his foot instead b/c he said the brace is too big and looks like a slipper. Probably not the best way for it to heal but I do agree that the thing looks ridiculous. The things we sacrifice for fashion; in this case his big toe. No biggie. It's just a toe. He's got 9 more.

My parents, Kara and Todd are coming up tomorrow afternoon to celebrate our b-day. The fun thing about having a twin is that you always get to celebrate together! Some people may hate sharing their b-day with someone else, but I don’t see the big deal about it. You still get to celebrate and have the day be all about you but at the same time you get to celebrate DOUBLE! Double the fun!

We’ll be picking up Kara’s beautiful wedding dress tomorrow afternoon, watching Wade race in Elko tomorrow night and then Sunday we are hitting Target Field for our 1st Twins game at the new stadium. I’ve heard wonderful things about it so hopefully the weather is nice like they are predicting. A weekend full of fun! The only way it could be better is if I could drink. Sobriety is overrated.

Yesterday marked the single digit countdown in my weeks left of pregnancy. That’s right, there are only 9 weeks separating me from my estimated due date. Hopefully I won’t go past my due date but it is always a possibility. I’m hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that if anything I go a tad early. I’m ready to be done with this pregnancy shit (although I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mother, but who ever is?). It’s not that my pregnancy has been bad b/c in reality it’s been smooth sailing, but I’m not one of those women who just LOVE to be pregnant.

“Oh, look at me with my big, round, cute belly! Aren’t I a beautiful pregnant woman? I am woman, hear me roar! I can make humans! I’m making a miracle! Oh, look at the baby kick my belly! Isn’t it glorious?!?!?!”

Um. No. That is not me. Don’t get me wrong. I am blessed and grateful that Wade and I are able to have Nugget. But I won’t be sad when I’m no longer pregnant. I’ll be chugging down a Blue Moon or a Crispin or a bottle of wine or margaritas or... well, name your poison. I'll be drinking it. :)

The only cool thing about being knocked up is getting to feel her kicks, but even then sometimes they are bothersome. Also, I’m starting to get to the big uncomfortable stage and with the temps heating up, my feet and cankles don’t like the water retention swelling that is going on. My toes look like little summer sausages but not nearly as appetizing. So I’m hoping for a July 19th birthday. That would be 10 days earlier than my due date and my grandma’s birthday. What a way to be able to celebrate her memory! I’m hopeful that if I do end up having to have a c-section then maybe I can choose that date. If I don’t need a c-section then that date is highly unlikely. But one can hope!

What are you all up to on this glorious long Memorial Day weekend? Hope you all have fun plans!

Catch ya on the flip side!

Well, hello. I'm Wasted. Who the hell are you?

So now that I am totally and completely recovered from just about the worst hangover of all times I thought I could finally update you all on how our Dirty 30 B-day Bash went. It went... well, it went way too fast and way too drunk. If there is such a thing as too drunk anyway.

I got to see so many of my great friends that I rarely get to see! We rented the party room at the Cab in West Glen which had our own private bar, patio, wait staff and bathroom (story on the bathroom later!)... It worked out perfectly! We had one keg ready to go and ended up purchasing a 2nd one around 11:00 pm. I have NO clue how much of the 2nd one we even drank b/c by the end of the night I was HAMMERED... Regardless, some highlights of the night:

• The weather was perfect which meant the patio was wonderful!


• I'd approximate that throughout the entire night we had about 50 people show up so it was a pretty good turn out.


• Shots galore. Ew.


• We did some titty grabbing. (see 1st picture)


• I puked one of my shots right back out the second I drank it. Tequila. Which is weird b/c usually I can handle tequila. Guess not that time... (remember this part b/c it will have to do w/ the bathroom story)


• Wade got even more drunk than me which is a very rare occurence b/c everyone knows I am the lush in this relationship. Anyway, he decided to go on a "walk" through the neighborhood. He had no clue where he was. I am crying b/c I'm drunk and he had pissed me off and I can't find him. Luckily for him (and me) a friend (thank you Mike!) helped track him down and picked his drunk, lost ass up.


• To be completely honest, I can't give you anymore bullet points b/c I got so drunk that things are very hazy. All I know is I had a blast. So from here on out I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Open your eyes Wade!!!

As for the bathroom story... I can be a bit of a... shall I say, Super mega bitch when I'm drunk. So picture this, I had just thrown up my tequila shot right back into the cup that I had taken it out of and I am still holding it in my hand. Kara was dragging me to the bathroom b/c she thought I was going to be sick (even though I wasn't going to be sick, the shot just didn't sit well for me that time!) :) Anyway, there are these 2 girls waiting in line for the bathroom. I have no clue who they are and neither does Kara. So we ask them if they are with the party to which they reply no they aren't, they just want to use the bathroom. To which I tell them (all the while holding my cup of vomito) to get the hell out of our party room that we paid for b/c this is not their bathroom to use. They came back at me w/ some bitchy remark so I threaten to throw my cup-o-vomit on them. That finally got them to shut up and leave. I know, I am a serious class act threatening to throw puke. But in all seriousness, girls who act superior to others annoy the shit out of me and these girls for some reason felt they were entitled to not have to wait in the regular bathroom line and would come and make a line at ours, that we had paid for and reserved for the night. Not on my watch motherlovers. :)

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In a completely unrelated note, why is it that if I move my pictures around in my post you can no longer click on them to enlarge them once the post is up? Anyone more computer saavy than me and know what the heck is going on there? :)

Who me? An adult? Mmmyeah...

Tomorrow I am crossing into unchartered territory. I am a baby; taking it's first steps. I am Christopher Columbus; discovering a new country. I am a virgin; trying to figure out how to use a condom. I am leaving behind my "youth" and moving into my Dirty 30's. That's right. I'm becoming an adult. :)

When I was younger I always thought that 30 meant you were old, married, had a boring full time job and kids. Well, 3 outta 4 ain't bad, right? And the whole kids thing? We'll save that for another day.

Some people dread moving onto their 30's. They tell people they will forever be 29. But you know what? I'm not worried about it. In fact I am embracing it. After all, it kind of makes me feel a bit better about some things.

For instance:

• These wrinkles on my forehead? Before I was like, I'm only in my 20's! I shouldn't have wrinkles! Now I can exclaim, yes, I have wrinkles but look at how small they are for being in my 30's!
  
• My eye sight going down the tubes? When I had to get glasses for night driving I thought it was ridiculous. Only old people need help seeing in the dark. Well, now that I'm 30 it doesn't make me feel bad!
  
• My forgetfulness? I can now say it is early onset Alzheimers and people MAY actually believe me!!! :)
  
• The huge bunyon on my right foot? Well, it's genetic. I can't help it. And yes, it looks like my right foot should be attached to an elderly person, well, now that's not so far off!

I joke, I joke. I really could care less that I'm turning 30. In fact if I go by what everyone else says 30 is the new 15 or something like that. So really I should be breaking out in zits, getting my driving permit and wishing my boobs would FINALLY grow so that my hornball of a boyfriend would have something more than nipples to grope while he feels me up. So really I'm doing pretty damn good considering.

In order to properly celebrate this momentous occasion we are heading down to Des Moines and renting a party room @ the Cab in West Glen and buying a keg and getting shit faced schnockered. I can definitely still party like I'm in my 20's! (Although the hangovers are a bit worse unfortunately). So for all you suckas who don't know... Check it out.* If you are in Des Moines, or even remotely close to it, I fully expect to see you out Saturday night. We're going to paint the town red! (What exactly does that term even mean?) You definitely will be in for a treat.

I hope to get my freak on:

Take some shots straight out of the bottle (although not this shit, it was nasty!):

Maybe make some new friends:

And possibly even get some of this (although not likely, damn it):

All that would mean I've had A LOT of fun. It's gonna be a good night. So here's to bringing in the 30's in the best way possible: being surrounded by all my drunk friends.

Cheers!

*If you caught that Kris Kross reference you are my new best friend forever.

I Feel So…. Old (yikes!)

I’ve noticed a few things slowly come about as I’ve been progressing through my 20’s. Being that I am less than a year away from 30 really has me starting to feel “old”. Well, actually, let me rephrase that. Mentally I'm still not feeling old but I feel like I should act older, closer to my age. B/c I sure don’t think I act like a soon to be 30 year old. However, I’ve noticed that my body wants to make me stop and slow down and act like I’m older than I feel. I get cramps and crinks in my muscles and bones that I never used to get. I’ve got more wrinkles popping up what feels like daily. And I’ve got fat that will not, absolutely flat out refuses, to leave my ass!

This past weekend we spent out at our friend’s cabin up north for our annual “Buzzards & Beer” event. We fry up some turkeys and buy a keg and enjoy every last drop of it all. We also enjoyed playing games. The usual drinking games like corn hole (aka: bags), tippy cup, and beer pong were played, but then someone brought out whiffle ball. We played this last year for a bit however it was cut short when Wade decided to slide into 1st and tear off Erika’s big toe nail. Thank goodness she was drunk otherwise that would have hurt like a mo’fo! Regardless, last year I handled it all in stride and had a blast. This year seemed to be a different story. I thought I was doing good. I hit the ball the majority of times up to bat and made several runs in. However, towards the end of the game (when my team was completely schooling the other team) I had to hit and run back to back at least 4 times. Those 4 times in a row running really got me exhausted. I was out of breath and sweating. It’s pretty sad. But the real bummer hit me the next day when my body was aching sore like I had just been in a boxing match against Mike Tyson, but I still had both my ears. (Now THATS scary!)


WTF?!? Seriously. All I did was whack a ball and run a few laps around the bases. I’d say probably a total of 6 times. That is all it takes now to get my body feeling like I got run over by a truck??? My body is lame.

The kicker of it all is that even after all that running around my body still had to hang onto those 4 extra pounds I’ve been trying to lose since June. Getting old, you suck! When I was younger I would lose weight by lifting a Butterfinger to my mouth. Seriously. I’m a sad panda.

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Here are some pics from the weekend:

Here are the guys w/ their stasches. They are quite proud of them. Wade looks like a 12 year old boy who hasn't fully gone through puberty yet. Josh's is good, but since he left the soul patch you can't get the full stasche effect. I'd have to give Travis the award for stasche most like a porno stasche. Classic and disturbing at the same time... Oh yes, he wants you.












Here's a close up of Wade's barely there stasche. And this was 2 weeks worth of growth. Contain yourself ladies... He's spoken for. Haha...


Here is Wade doing a wheelie. He soon crashed his ass while doing one and had to do this to get his muffler back into place...


Beer pong!
Danielle loves her porno man and his hot, sexy boots. They go perfect w/ the stasche.