Who me? An adult? Mmmyeah...

Tomorrow I am crossing into unchartered territory. I am a baby; taking it's first steps. I am Christopher Columbus; discovering a new country. I am a virgin; trying to figure out how to use a condom. I am leaving behind my "youth" and moving into my Dirty 30's. That's right. I'm becoming an adult. :)

When I was younger I always thought that 30 meant you were old, married, had a boring full time job and kids. Well, 3 outta 4 ain't bad, right? And the whole kids thing? We'll save that for another day.

Some people dread moving onto their 30's. They tell people they will forever be 29. But you know what? I'm not worried about it. In fact I am embracing it. After all, it kind of makes me feel a bit better about some things.

For instance:

• These wrinkles on my forehead? Before I was like, I'm only in my 20's! I shouldn't have wrinkles! Now I can exclaim, yes, I have wrinkles but look at how small they are for being in my 30's!
  
• My eye sight going down the tubes? When I had to get glasses for night driving I thought it was ridiculous. Only old people need help seeing in the dark. Well, now that I'm 30 it doesn't make me feel bad!
  
• My forgetfulness? I can now say it is early onset Alzheimers and people MAY actually believe me!!! :)
  
• The huge bunyon on my right foot? Well, it's genetic. I can't help it. And yes, it looks like my right foot should be attached to an elderly person, well, now that's not so far off!

I joke, I joke. I really could care less that I'm turning 30. In fact if I go by what everyone else says 30 is the new 15 or something like that. So really I should be breaking out in zits, getting my driving permit and wishing my boobs would FINALLY grow so that my hornball of a boyfriend would have something more than nipples to grope while he feels me up. So really I'm doing pretty damn good considering.

In order to properly celebrate this momentous occasion we are heading down to Des Moines and renting a party room @ the Cab in West Glen and buying a keg and getting shit faced schnockered. I can definitely still party like I'm in my 20's! (Although the hangovers are a bit worse unfortunately). So for all you suckas who don't know... Check it out.* If you are in Des Moines, or even remotely close to it, I fully expect to see you out Saturday night. We're going to paint the town red! (What exactly does that term even mean?) You definitely will be in for a treat.

I hope to get my freak on:

Take some shots straight out of the bottle (although not this shit, it was nasty!):

Maybe make some new friends:

And possibly even get some of this (although not likely, damn it):

All that would mean I've had A LOT of fun. It's gonna be a good night. So here's to bringing in the 30's in the best way possible: being surrounded by all my drunk friends.

Cheers!

*If you caught that Kris Kross reference you are my new best friend forever.