It was just a normal work day and I got a phone call from a lady in our lobby who was there to deliver caramels to one of my co-workers. Since the co-worker was out at lunch I got my fat ass off the chair and waddled over to the lobby doors.
As I swing open the door to let this woman in I hear her squeal.
Crazy Caramel Lady: "Oh my! Aren't you just the cutest little pregnant thing?!?!?" (Not sure who she was looking at b/c I am definitely NOT little at this point)
Me: "Oh thank you. I don't feel cute or little but that is nice to hear."
CCL: "Do you know what you're having? Wait! Stop! Don't tell me! Let me guess!"
Me: (silent, awkward waiting)
CCL: "I just know it's a boy! It's a boy, right?"
Me: "Nope. Actually it's a girl."
CCL: "No way! Wait, turn around. Let me see your bottom."
Me: "Um... ah..." (I slightly turn to the side)
CCL: (reaching for my side belly) "I can't believe it's a girl! You're supposed to carry wide for a girl and you've still got a waist! And just look at your little bottom! I would have sworn you were having a boy!"
Me: "Well, thanks. I'll make sure my co-worker gets these caramels."
CCL: "When are you due? You've got to be due anytime now. I can just smell the baby coming out of you."
Me: (What I wanted to say: WTF lady? Are you friggin nuts? What exactly does a baby coming out of me smell like?) What I actually said: "In 2 weeks. It's coming fast. Well, thanks again."
CCL: "Oh yes. Sorry. I just LOOOVVEE pregnant women. You are just too cute." (As she rubs my belly one last time)
What is it about pregnant women that make others feel like they have free reign over groping them and eye fucking them up and down? I can't believe a stranger would ask to see another stranger's "bottom" AND say they can smell the baby coming out of them. WTF is wrong w/ people? Lucky for me this is only the 2nd stranger to actually put her hands on me. The other one was a random, drunk girl in the bathroom at a restaurant. She proclaimed her love for pregnant women and started rubbing my belly telling me how cute I was. Lucky for her she was drunk and complimenting me, so I let it slide. And then she thanked me for letting her rub me down. Best bathroom feel up ever. We didn't even have to cuddle after it. :)
Happy D-Day to me. Yep, it's my due date. And no baby. Damn it. I knew she'd be late.
8 comments:
HAHA! If someone is going to ask to see my bottom they better buy me dinner first. And I imagine the smell of a baby coming out does not smell like roses. But I have never understood the interest in pregnant ladies either, I mean sure if it is someone you know but I could care less about some random strange lady being pregnant.
What.is.wrong.with.some.people?!? You were much, much nicer than I would have been. Smell the baby coming out of you? There's just no scenario when it would be appropriate to say something like that.
You have the patience of a saint.
I would have punched her in the mouth. No lie. Some people just don't understand the concept of PERSONAL SPACE.
Oh yes, I can also smell the baby coming out of you, it's wafting over the internet as I type.
Kidding.
Although if it turned out you were actually giving birth as I made this comment, then maybe it would almost be true.
And really freaky!!! :)
What a friggin lunatic! Wow. "I can smell the baby" ?!?!?!?!?
Ew.
ANYWAY, good to hear youa re moving along so well! Can't wait to see pics of lil Nuggelita!
Um... I don't even know what to say about that!
I don't know what is wrong with people! I'm sorry, but I have no desire to touch a strangers stomach. And the smell thing made me gag. Haha!
Just wait until you have the baby. I had a woman actually follow me into a bathroom stall once because she wanted to see Hunter in his infant carrier! Yikes! I'm mortified that she said she could smell the baby coming out of you!!!!!!
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