Dem People Up Der In Da Nort Shur Know How Ta Partay

Our annual trip up to Bessemer this year surely did not disappoint. In fact it flat out kicked ass. More specifically, it kicked my ass.

The weekend began with a bang on Thursday night when my sister (Kara) and Adro arrived. We promptly opened some beers and began our Guitar Hero playing. Adro sucked at it, but that’s okay b/c not everyone can be a rock star like myself. Guitar Hero led to Mario Kart which Adro was better at and more and more drinks were consumed. We knew we had to get up early to hit the road by 9am and travel north but that didn’t stop us from staying up until nearly 3am. Needless to say, the wake up call Friday morning came very early.

Our caravan loaded up and headed to Uptown Bar for what was supposedly the best breakfast around and by golly it sure as hell was. Adro and I got a gyro omelet which could only be described as the size of a football (I’m not kidding), Wade got a ham and cheese omelet with tons of ham chunks the size of ping pong balls (again I’m not kidding) and everyone else’s meals were just as large. It was ridiculous how much food we got. Thankfully the screwdriver I got with breakfast definitely helped me kick the queasiness from the night before and we hit the road.

Once on the road we realized we packed the cooler w/ all our drinks in the back of the van so we promptly asked Wade to haul his molesterrific van over to the side and bring our cooler up front. Being the courteous chauffeur he was, he graciously did as asked and our drinking began for realsies. By the time we made it to Bessemer (approx 4 hour drive) we had consumed 2 big mugs full of Captain/Pepsi and a 24 ouncer of Miller Lite and I was quite positive my bladder was going to burst upon stepping out of the van. I sucked it up and ran inside the Abbey like I was on going to piss out of every orifice if not given a toilet NOW and luckily I made it.

To be completely honest with you a lot of Friday night is a blur. I have quite a few pictures that piece parts of it together. I know I played Euchre twice and won 1 game and lost the other.

I know there was some dancing,

some hair air vent blowing,

some booty tappin,

and some face licking.

I also know I passed out around 11pm. You may be saying that I am a total wuss but I’d like you to know I outlasted a good percentage of the people there AND I had been drinking for 14 hours. Come on now! 14 hours is ridiculous! I haven’t done that kind of drinking in ages! I’m proud of us. (I also threw up, but we’ll leave most of the details of that out. Thanks hun for taking care of my pukey face. Nuf said.)

Saturday morning was hellish. A lot of the group got up and went skiing/boarding but not me. Kara, Adro and I stayed holed up until about 2pm sleeping, resting, cleaning up and getting rid of our hangovers. But by 2pm we were so hungry we were going to eat our faces off so we finally ventured out and got some Little Caesar’s. I must say right now that Little Caesar’s is the bomb diggity. Seriously it is so flipping good. And we hadn’t really eaten anything since our huge breakfast the day before so we were starving Marvins! After eating and getting some Sobe Adrenalines (the best energy drinks out there) we headed back to the Abbey and made our first beverages. We also made up a card game that we call “Shit Balls”. Best drinking game ever. No brain needed to play. We rule.

Everyone began coming back from their ski/board adventures and the drinking games began. Card games, flippy cup, quarters, you name it and it was probably played. Kara passed out at 6:15. How do I know this? B/c I was carrying my iPhone everywhere and put a note in it that said exactly that. Along w/ a note that says “You’ll poop badly tomorrow”. I have no idea what that means but its funny b/c it says poop. So in a period of approximately 3 hours Kara drank so much she passed out and I drew the best tattoo ever of a tree on her side. I think it’s my best work yet! What do you think? And how do you like the side boob? :)

We woke her up about an hour later and she was good to go again. We made macaroni and cheese w/ bacon (that had fallen on the floor) and Hormel chili and hash browns. Yes, all of this was mixed together and even in my drunken state it tasted disgusting. Sam slipped and fell on the floor where the bacon had dropped b/c of all the grease which was hilarious and I wish we would have gotten it on video.

There was scissoring (notice Kara and I's legs),

boob grabbing,
crotch grabbing,
and unicycling.
And in general all sorts of things that most sober people would not even dream of. It was GRAND! We made it to the Pit Stop bar and Wade unicycled the whole way there. That is talent! We had a few more before they kicked us out (and Sam passed out at the table)
and then headed back to the Abbey. This night I was up until 3:30am. Thankyouverymuch. I CAN hang.

Two Jackasses Ride Unicycles Drunk, Guess How Many of Them Fall?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phzz6DH7K9Q

This is a video of Wade and Lance falling on their asses while riding their unicycles in the bar up at Bessemer. Really there is no need to watch it past 15 seconds. All the funny is over at that point. :)

Have a good weekend and I'm going to have a post w/ pictures from Bessemer (which means they will be drunk pictures) up probably Monday!

Wordless Wednesday

Wade rode his unicycle 4 blocks to the bar (extremely drunk) in about 8 inches of snow. Now that is talent! All he needs to do now is learn to juggle and he can join the circus! :)

Ski Hills - 1; Kellie - 0

Way too much freaking snow in the U. P.

As promised here is the tale of my snowboarding affair.

Every winter a group of us heads up north to the U.P. of MI for a weekend full of drinking & boarding/skiing/tubing/sledding. For me this is mostly just a weekend of binge drinking however one year (and one year only) I decided I would give snow boarding a try. Let me be the first to tell you that trying to snow board for the first time ever while hung over is NOT a good idea.

We wake up from our 1st night of heavy drinking hung over as hell. Wade was very excited to get me out to try the snow board that he had for me. So I dress to stay warm and waddle out to Indianhead Resort to give it a go. Pretty much the second we get there I know I don’t want to be there. I am sweating, even though I am cold & my hands are shaky. This is not going to be good. Luckily for me I have my hung over sister w/ me to keep me company.

We strap on our boards & head to the bunny hill. Wade wants to try to teach me how to board so he stands halfway down the bunny hill & gives me instructions while I attempt to obey them. It is not good. I suck. Majorly. I blame most of my suckiness on the fact that I am horrendously hung over, but who knows; maybe I truly just suck at it. I can’t get a hang of how to steer myself with the board & it is constantly cutting into the snow & making me fall. Sometimes I am falling face first & sliding down on my belly & other times I am falling on my ass & sliding down getting snow down my pants. Either way, I am NOT having a good time.

Wade starts to get frustrated with my lack of abilities & my complete lack of effort & enthusiasm due to my hang over so Kara & I decide to tell him & the rest of our group to go ahead & hit some other hills & we’ll take a break for a bit. So off they go as Kara & I promptly sit our asses down on an open area at the top of a small hill. After resting for about 15-20 minutes Wade comes back & wants me to go down the hill that we are sitting on top of. I look down it & it doesn’t look too scary. I look back at Kara & ask her if she wants to give it a go. Hell no she says. So I decide to try to tackle it on my own with Wade trying to help me along the way. Unfortunately, I think the hill definitely tackles me instead of the other way around. I'm pretty sure I broke the record for the most falls on that short of a hill. I am on my ass way more than I am standing & am constantly turning in circles & going down the hill backwards. But alas, I make it down the hill in one piece. Yay me! Little did I know the hardest part was yet to come…

The only thing I like doing in the snow is walking to the Booby Hatch

Once I reach the bottom of the hill Wade directs me over to the ski lift. I stare at it wondering where the hell the chairs are. All it consists of is a rope w/ little stretchy ropes & plastic handles hanging down from it. They instruct me to stand in a certain spot, grab the plastic handle when it comes to me & hold on tight & it will then lug my ass up the hill. Seriously? I am a weakling. I imagine hanging on for dear life, my body dragging the whole way up the hill & ending w/ my pants full of snow. But I see all the other people doing it & decide that it can’t be that hard. I see little kids doing it w/ ease. (I should have noted at this time that I also saw little kids flying past me on snowboards/skis & making me look bad yet again; so I should not be measuring my ability to their super human talents. Damn over achieving kids.)

Soon it is my turn & I take a hold of the handle & steady myself to be tugged. The slack tightens & the handle promptly flings out of my grasp. The guy running the rope pull hits stop & brings it back to me. This thing has a lot of slack in it due to it being made of super stretchy cord & it seems I underestimated its stretchiness. I grab a hold of it again & he tells me to make sure I hold on tightly. I nod my understanding to him & he starts the thing up again. I strain my arms & hands so hard just to hold on, but my body seems so heavy & my board seems to be getting stuck in the snow. It pulls me approximately 3 feet from my beginning spot when swoosh! Out from my hands the handle flings again. Shit balls. The guy hits stop again & helps me grab the handle again. Luckily I hadn’t moved far. I tell him this time I will hold on “for realsies” & he gives me an irritated look. I should mention that this entire time Wade is one handle up from me on the rope & laughing down at me while yelling “hold on” with me replying “I’m fucking trying!”

Try three. The rope starts moving & I hold on like my life depends on it. I probably look like I’m constipated I’m straining so hard. Finally…I’m moving! I’m moving! Yay! I’m ½ way up the hill! And then suddenly my board decides to swerve & get stuck in a divot in the snow. Oh holy crap sack. I fall on my face. I hear the rope pull come to a stop. I look up to see Wade laughing hysterically at me again. Whatever crap face husband of mine. Thanks for the support. I hear the guy running the pull yelling at me asking if I need help. I look up at the handle. It’s only about 2 feet away from me, but keep in mind that I am on a hill & if I stand up my board will most definitely make me slide down it & I will knock down every single person behind me. So I nod in defeat & he runs up the hill to me. Damn it I suck. He finally reaches me & gives me the handle AGAIN. I could tell he is annoyed, but I don’t care. It’s not like this is something I am enjoying or am proud of. He finally gets back down to his station & starts the pull again. I now have the handle wedged in between my legs & my hands have a death grip on the damn thing. The end is in sight. Only 5 feet more, 4 feet, 3 feet, 2 feet, whew! I’m finally at the top. I release the rope & promptly fall on my face yet again.

When I finally get my ass up & out of the way Wade has the balls to ask me if I want to go down the hill again. Not in a million freaking years. Going down the hill wasn’t so bad, although I wasn’t very good at it, but getting back up the hill was pure hell. Kara & I spent the rest of the afternoon soaking up the sun through the windows of the ski lodge & eating French fries. Now that is how I like to spend my hung over winter afternoons.

The way we should have spent the cold afternoon: Quarters!

Ski hills - 2; Kellie - 0

Oh the places we go...

So as promised I’m posting some pictures from the busy lives we’ve been living lately.

My trip to Ft. Myers with Milly, Gilly and Bud was wonderful. The weather was picture perfect (in the 80’s every day and sunny) and we kept ourselves busy sight seeing, shopping and going to the beaches. Perfection! We also had the pleasure of getting down to Everglades City and taking an air boat ride. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a boat w/ a big fan on the back of it which propels it and skims it over the water. Because of this the water does not have to be deep for the boat and it can even go over mud as long as it is wet. There were times we were in water that was just a few inches deep. This boat can fly! And we zoomed through the everglades and even got to do some 360’s! It was a blast. Unfortunately the only alligator we got to see was a little stuffed dead one (the season was dry and the water turned too salty so they swam out and away), but we did get to see a swamp raccoon. And yes, they look almost exactly like the Midwest raccoons. But it was still neat b/c our captain fed it right out of his hands and it grabbed the “People” crackers from him w/ her little paws. Very cute! Here are some of the highlights of the trip. I definitely think we should make this an annual vacation! :)
Bud, Milly and Gilly ready to watch the sunset

They have some great sunsets in Florida

Our air boat ride!

The captain manuevered us through these narrow passageways

The friendly little swamp raccoon we saw

I got to pretend to be captain! Aye matey!

Milly got to steer it for real!

They are everywhere! This was in a drainage on the side of the highway.

Gilly and Bo enjoy the Seafood Festival that we just happened to get to go to in Everglades City

Our next trip was up to Bessemer, MI (the U.P.) We had a group of 14 join us this year. Smaller than normal, but no less fun! This group wasn’t afraid of drinking hard, partying, UFC, unicycling (haha), handstands (haha, again), snow tossing and staying up late. Well, late as in 1:30 am. But when you start drinking before noon, that IS late! A lot of people skied and snowboarded and sledded. I did not. Do I regret that? Not in the least. I stayed warm, drank early and stayed out of the blizzard that the afternoon turned into! The 2nd night up there it turned freaking ridiculous on us and the wind-chill was around 20 below! Our walk home from the Booby Hatch (which is only 2 blocks!) was HORRID! My thighs froze by the time we walked back into the Abbey! I never knew my thighs could freeze, but yes, in fact, they can! There were so many good moments captured on film, I’ll try to get the best ones on here. Definitely good times! And I got to try my first pickled egg. Did I like it, you ask? Well, I'll let the pictures tell the story. :)
Travis was the pimp for the weekend (and he pretty much didn't change out of this the whole time!
The group playing tippy cup

I told you there were handstands... and they weren't very good!

I decided I would test out the "fire escape", I need to lift weights, I'm a wimp.
Thank God John helped me or I would have fallen on my ass! :)
Ahh... the Booby Hatch, what a GREAT place!
And I told you there was unicycling!
And UFC, I won. :)
I love Kara's face in this one. Priceless.
My 1st pickled egg... And my last pickled egg. Freakin nasty.
And now it's time for the "Toss Wade in the Snow" game... he wasn't being cooperative.
But we eventually got him, and bonus, we got Travis too! :)

And finally, E’s 2nd Bachelorette Bash! This one unfortunately didn’t turn out all that much better than the first. Although this time when she got sick it WAS due to the alcohol. We never made it out of Gretchen’s apartment, but we still managed to have a good time and take care of poor E. She knows how to drink them down, unfortunately couldn’t keep them down though! We’ll do a 3rd times the charm party for her in Mexico, which is in exactly one week! Yippeeeee!!!! I can’t wait! I’ve been a shopaholic lately finding all these cute tee’s and tanks for the trip. I’ve spent way over my budget for clothing this month. Oops. I guess I will just make it up next month and not buy anything. It’s so hard to say no though when you see something cute that is on sale and you just KNOW it will be perfect for Mexico! Si, me gusta mucho! Vamos a Mexico!

The first try, Jana filled in as our bride so we could still get in free everywhere even though we lost E. :(
Yay, E came back out!

Sisters, so happy together! :)

Seriously, minutes before we lost her the 2nd time!

We decided to continue the party anyway. E would have wanted us to... :)

So there is my full length update. I hope you are all happy now! This weekend we have friends coming to visit us! Bartels, Drew and maybe Tanya, assuming she is feeling better. I can’t wait. We never get people to visit us, we always have to visit them! So this will be great! We plan on skiing one day. We’ll see how that goes…

Until next time… Cheerio my peeps!

These are the days of our lives...

So much has been going on the past few weeks I haven’t found the time to post lately! We’ve had family visit, a bachelorette party, and travels. We’ve been to Bessemer, MI this last weekend (I will post more on that later along w/ a few pictures). And I was in Ft. Myers, FL the weekend before that soaking up the sun! This week will be a little calmer, with Valentine’s Day to look forward to, but the weekend will be another one filled w/ social events. Gotta love it! :)

Ahhh… Valentine’s Day. When I get the excuse to get Wade to treat me like a princess. Oh wait, he pretty much does that every day! I am SO lucky! :) We will be going to Atlas Grill in Minneapolis. We’ve never been there before, but the menu looks spectacular! Can’t wait to try it! Wade always makes us reservations somewhere nice that we’ve never been before and it is always something to look forward to. So I can’t wait for that.

Friday we are going to attempt a re-do on E’s bachelorette bash since she got sick at her last one. And no, it wasn’t due to too much alcohol, she had the flu! Poor E! (this pic was right before she left the party) So we will make another go at it and I can’t wait. While Saturday is Brad’s bachelor party that Wade has been looking forward to and help plan. I may just take it easy that night. We’ll see. It would be kind of nice to take an evening to myself and relax, but somehow I always find myself going out to do something!

Look forward to posting some good pics of FL and Bessemer on here this week. Stay tuned! :)

Lata my peeps!