It's Fucking Fantabulous!

Thanks to Charlotte for giving me the Honest Scrap award! I received this award once before but it was a long time ago so I'll do it again!

The rules:

* Post 10 honest things about yourself
* Tag the person who gave you the award
* Pass the award onto 5 favorite honest bloggers

That seems easy enough for me which is good b/c sometimes I'm dumb and I'm always lazy. So here goes:

1. I am getting so excited for Sturgis this year. Kara and her boyfriend, Todd, are going to join us this time around and hopefully (keeping my fingers crossed) Amy and Bob will too so we will most definitely have an absolute blast. And not to worry, I will post plenty of pictures.

2. I wasn't going to say anything about Europe b/c I feel like I've over-posted on that subject, but I don't feel right saying I'm excited about Sturgis and not Europe. I'm getting a bit antsy. Not only do I miss Wade a ton but I'm getting nervous about flying there and being able to find him in the Paris airport! I know ZERO French... Yikes. Wait, I know Grazie. I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong. :)

3. Wade and I always said we would start trying to get preggo when we turned 30. I just turned 30 a month ago. Wade's b-day is July 31. This makes me nervous. This also makes me a Puma. Growl... :)

4. I am addicted to cheese. I love it. I always want it. And a ton of it. I'm surprised I'm not constantly constipated. And for those who are lactose intolerant, whoa, I would never be able to do it, I feel for you. I really do. It ain't easy being cheesy!

5. I really want to go skydiving. I'm not sure if I would be able to jump though once I got up there...

6. I want to move somewhere warm and far away. If only for a year. Just to experience something new and different.

7. Although I miss my family and friends, I secretly enjoy living far away when it comes to baby showers, baby birthdays, etc b/c it means that I can ask my sister to buy the gift for me and I'll just pay her half OR I just buy it online and have the gift shipped. B/c I HATE Babies 'R Us. :) (No offense to all my BFF's that have babies b/c I love your babies!) But that store gives me the heeby geebys.

8. I am secretly afraid that my social life will take an extreme nosedive when I get pregnant (if I get pregnant). As of now my entire social life consists of shmoozing and boozing (it's not an alcohol problem I swear) and what do I do when I CAN'T booze?!?!

9. If I were asked to be in a talent show I would never be able to do anything! The only talent I somewhat possess is drawing/painting (artistic crud) and really, you can't use that as a talent at a talent show. Talk about boring to watch! So I really wish I could sing. You know, just in case I'm asked to be in a talent show and all b/c that kind of shit happens all the time, right?

10. If I could have one super hero power I would pick teleportation. Just THINK of all the great and amazing things you could do if you had that power. Feel like taking a vacation in Fiji for the day? DONE! Want to rob a bank vault? DONE! Want to slip into the mens locker room at the gym? DONE! Want to punch that stupid bitch in the face and not get hit back? DONE! Totally awesome.

I'd like to pass this award onto these awesome bloggers:
Trippin Through Life
BonBon Rose
Bormann Twins
What You Wish For
...love Maegan


I also got this award from Lady Jane from Trippin Through Life and I have to say it is probably my most favoritist award. Why? Well b/c we all know I can't censor my potty mouth and this award doesn't either!!! Dirty mouth? Clean it out w/ Orbit. Yeah, that doesn't work b/c I chew Orbit daily and I've still got a dirty mouth. Anyway... Thanks Lady Jane!!!

The rules:

* List 5 of your current obsessions and then pass it on to 5 more fucking fabulous blogs

So my 5 current (and almost constant) obsessions are:

1. Cheese - see above. This is a constant obsession. I don't see this changing EVER. More cheese please!

2. OPI Nail Polish - Right now I'm digging pinky-purplish shades on my toes. Summertime!

3. My backyard garden - This is not necessarily an obsession I enjoy, but I am DETERMINED to not let my new plants die. Those fuckers are going to live if I have anything to say about it b/c I've invested way too much money and time on those shit heads.

4. Kobe - This is also a constant obsession. I love my little furbag. He's my luvmuffin. My parents are coming on Thursday to pick him up and watch him while we are in Europe and I am going to miss him SO STINKING MUCH. Before now the longest I've ever been apart from him was 7 days for our wedding. These 10 days are going to feel long being away from him (not that I won't have the BEST time in Europe). Is that something I should be ashamed of???

5. Wine - Also a constant (along w/ beer, vodka, rum, etc) but since we're going to be in wine country while in Europe I thought I should give some new kinds a try so I went out and bought several different bottles of stuff I've never had to get a better feel of it all. I've found some new ones I love (Angeline Pinot Noir!) and some others that I would never try again!

This award I would like to grant to:

The Odyssey Years
Through The Looking Glass
It's Unbeweavable!
Live it Love it
Drollgirl

So if any of you award nominees see this before I have a chance to comment to you, Congrats! And don't feel obligated to pass on if you don't want to, but I just wanted to let you know (and everyone else who reads) that you are all radical awesome blogs!!! :)

Cheers!

I need your help!!!

Okay, so I went a little bezerkus and ordered 5 different swim suits from Victoria's Secret and need your help deciding which one to keep b/c although I love them all, I have no practical reason to keep 5 new swim suits. I live in Minnesota. I'm lucky if I wear a swim suit 3 times a year up here. (Thank God for vacations!) So I only need one. And that is where you guys come in!!! Help a girl out. Tell me which one you like best!!!

Option 1 - Brown w/ sequins
A little flashy and cute at the same time...
Option 2 - White w/ polka dots
This one is sweet, sweet, sweet w/ some sexiness thrown in...

Option 3 - Floral ruffle bottom

Bandeau top w/ flowers on a ruffle skirted bottom

Option 4 -Chain

Geometric blue w/ chain detail

Option 5 - Cross back bikini (front and back picture)

Simple yet unique. I ordered it in the blue/grey.

So what do you guys think? I'm really torn. And I wish I would look even half as good in these as these models... Damn it. I need to tan.

Things I'm Totally Diggin On

Online shopping is so much fun. Although it would be more fun if I had some money to spend on these beauties. These are some of my favorite finds of the week. Tell me what you think. If only I had unlimited cash flow I could totally straighten out this down economy and pump the retail stores right back up!

A girl can dream right?

BCBG Silk Belted Tank Dress

I misplaced the link for these beauties. Crud. I think they were Cole Haan??? Anyone know?

Kate Spade Condesa

Guess Vashti Platform

Jimmy Choo Saba

Steve Madden Biker Boots

See by Chloe Linen Dress

Donna Karan Batik Dress

Kate Spade Charter

Kate Spade Yuma

Kate Spade Centro

Cole Haan Huarache

And then I saw this... No words except maybe a horrifying scream.

Michael Kors What Have You Done?!?!


*Update*

Victoria's Secret - Just for Moog (and the rest of my male readers) I apologize and from now on whenever I have a "fashion" post I'll add a little sumthin sumthin for you guys)

Wordless Wednesday

On our honeymoon

Wade has been gone now for 4 days enjoying his time (and working hard too I'm pretty sure) in Lyon, France. I miss him... Boo hoo.

xoxo

Debbie Downer

I need my freaking exterminator!!!

I am dying here. My exterminator (aka hubs) is ½ way around the world and I am being assaulted by SPIDERS! Just this morning I encountered THREE! For Christ’s sake it’s like they know he is gone and I am so terrified of them that I will let them live. And okay, I admit that since he’s been gone I’ve seen 6 of them and let 3 of them live b/c I deemed them too scary to go near. Scary spiders are either a.) HUGE; or b.) Jumpers (I HATE those fucking jumping ones w/ a passion).

However, this morning I found a new way to kill them. A new way which enables them to DIE and me to not get NEAR them.

Extra firm hold hairspray.

That’s right. As I was doing my makeup this morning in the bathroom a little fucking jumping spider decides that my mirror is a good place to hang out on! WTF? Does he not see me there trying to do my makeup? What kind of asshole spider tries to invade my space like that!?!? So I promptly grabbed my hairspray and went. to. town. That shit makes them fall so fast you’d think they were wasted off Bacardi. So anyway, I sprayed him and watched for a bit. It didn’t instantly kill him. Instead it fully hampered his ability to move about. This made me feel good b/c I knew he wouldn’t be jumping around on me anytime soon so I proceeded on with my makeup. After he seemed to be shaking it off a bit I sprayed him again. This time he seemed “stuck” in place and then finally he dropped from his little corner perch on the wall to the floor, shriveled up and DIED! Yay! Success!

So for any of you spider haters, like me, now you know the secret… Extra firm hold hairspray will do the trick. I used Pantene but I’m sure any ol’ brand will work just as well.

That’s right.

Eat shit spiders.

The exterminator’s wife is still here and badass as ever.

The best things in life are FREE!!! :)

A little while back I won a fabulous necklace from It's Unbeweavable! She writes one helluva blog so if you haven't read her before make sure to go check her out. And she's hot. So there's a bonus for you men readers (or lesbians, I don't discriminate). Moving on, I won this awesome pendant through her from Etsy seller, Ritzy Misfit and it finally came in the mail last week and I wanted to share with you all how awesome it is!!!

(Excuse the photo quality. I took it w/ my iPhone and while the iPhone does take good pictures for a phone, the quality still isn't too superb)

This picture doesn't even do it justice either! It is rad. I got it in plum with a "W" for either Wade or Wessels. Whichever. I'm not picky. And I haven't taken if off since. Thanks Liz for having an awesome giveaway! I'm still stoked about it. Even as stoked as I was when I won Robert Pattinson (who btw is still in my basement and he scared the shit out of my neighbor just last week. Sorry Beth!). :)

Hotels, hotels, hostels & more hotels!

More hotel bookings! I'm so excited! We booked one night in Hotel Europa in Frankfurt, Germany. Mostly b/c it was right next to the train station and bars and we'll only be there for the one night and leaving early the next morning. Nothing glamourous, but like they say: Location, location, location!!! :)

Then onto Bacharach. We booked a room with a balcony at Hotel Zur Post. Seriously, how cute is this place? So much character! I can see why Bacharach is on Rick Steve's list of places to visit! Picturesque! I'm hoping to get plenty of wine tasting in while in Bacharach. :)

Moving onto Brugge for a night stay at Hotel Leopold. This is more of a hostel I believe however we have lucked out and gotten a private room. Yay! :) And it looks clean and nice so I'm fine with it. Nothing against hostels, but like I said before, I don't want to be sleeping in the same room w/ strangers. I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing it. That is just me!

And finally onto Amsterdam where we used the remainder of Wade's priority points and then only owed $180 for 3 nights stay at the Crowne Plaza right in the heart of the city. Sure the exterior lacks some character but supposedly this hotel will just be finishing up renovations so I'm hoping that the rooms are gorgeous! And even if they're not who cares? We'll barely be in the room!

So, with Wade leaving for Europe in 2 days we have finally gotten our hotel situations figured out. We are such procrastinators. I love it. Thank you all for the suggestions you all have given me on places to go and things to see/do. If anyone has anymore I'd love to hear them!!! After all I don't leave for another 2 weeks... Boo! :(

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I swear I'll post about something other than our trip soon. It's just taking up most of my time as of late and so that seems to be all I'm thinking about! Plus I'm just so stinking excited.

Talk to you tits later!

xoxo

All pictures courtesy of tripadvisor or the hotel's website.

Wordless Wednesday

They did it and they ROCK!!!

Brunk Dlog Time

Let me start this off by stating that I am drunk. 2 beers and 2 strong and tasty pomegranate mojitos and I am done in. I guess I'm a light weight. So right off the bat I apologize for any and all misspellings and incorrect grammar bc/ this post will be riddled w/ tit. That's right, I said tit instead of it. Get used to it.

Second off, thank you to everyone who stuck with me through me temporary blogging break. I know it wasn't that long, but generally us bloggee's have short attention spans. At least, I know I do. And I really TRIED to keep up to date on the blogs I read but it was damn near impossible. You guys rock my socks off and post so often (which is a good thing, don't get me wrong) and I just couldn't keep up. So I've lagged. I apologize. I sound just like I would if I had biked the 150 miles this weekend like my wonderful hubs = lagging behind. :)

That's right. The MS 150 was this weekend and I didn't ride it. I feel like a complete slacker. I've rode it the past 2 years and this year it was an unsure thing up until the last minute so I did the MS Walk in Des Moines instead (which I've written about and would link to if I weren't so lazy and half (read: totally) drunk) So I apologize if this doesn't make sense. You have NO idea how much I have backspaced on this post so far.

Anyway, I didn't ride it. I was the chauffeur. I carted Wade, Bob, Amy and Steve up to Proctor, drank my ass off with them, slept in until 9:30 the next morning, made an emergency pit stop at their lunch stop on the route to drop off a jersey for a biker who wrecked, and met them in Hinckley, where I proceeded to try to check into our room but they wouldn't let me b/c the room was in my husband's name and, well, you never just know, we could have divorced and I may have been trying to steal his room yet put it on my card still... You know, b/c a lot of people want to do that and hang w/ their exes and... Wait, that doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Nope it doesn't. Lame. So I wasted $30 on slots until I could get a hold of Wade on the route and he could add me to his registration and I could check in and shower. So completely ridiculous.

After that it was a good night but we lost $80 on blackjack in about 15 minutes. Worst. Table. Ever. They all took off early Sunday morning to finish up the 2nd half of the ride and I took my time, woke up around 9 and drove back home. Picked up Kobe and met them at the finish line. Aren't they a classy bunch!?!? (Be sure to zoom in on Kobe, he didn't bike, but he looks so cute doing a raspberry!) (Or maybe I'm just easily amused???) I'm so proud. I know they worked their asses off. Actually I know they worked their asses raw. Their asses will hurt for the next 2 weeks. It's brutal. And I'm not lying. It's so painful. So I was happy to be their chauffeur and would gladly take up this position at any time in the future.

So let's give them a hi-five and a cheers! They worked hard and raised a lot of money towards finding the cure for MS. And Fuck MS! It can totally suck it! :)

Ta ta my lovlies. Next time I'll try to be sober, more interesting and more coherent... :) Maybe.

The Wessels European Vacation

I'm baaaaacccckkkk...

Our trip is finally starting to be planned. Nothing like waiting until the last minute! Wade leaves in a week and I follow after him 2 weeks later. We finally booked our Paris hotel room and it looks really nice!

Pretty sweet right? Newly renovated, every room has it's own bathroom (which isn't a guarantee as we've found in these European countries) AND we got it using Wade's priority points! It's going to save us over $300! It's right off the metro too so we can easily get to it and anywhere else we want to go while in Paris!

Next stop: Frankfurt, Germany. We'll only be there for one night but we need to find a hotel for the night. Hopefully close to the train station. Anyone have any suggestions? We'll hopefully get something done soon b/c after that we still need to find a place to stay in Bacharach (Germany), Brugge (Belgium) and Amsterdam...

So much to do, so little time. And I am getting SO SUPER FUCKING EXCITED!!!

(Not) Wordless Wednesday

I know I've been a bad blogee this week. I'm lacking motivation, inspiration, constipation. Wait, that last one didn't fit... Anyway, I'm going to take the rest of this week off and hopefully I'll be back in full force come Monday (it will be all right, I'll be holding you tight)...

Until then I will try to get through all my blog reading and hopefully still comment to you all. TRY being the important word in that sentence. I just seem to have a TON going on right now. It's spring fever. But I promise you I'll be back! Just like Arnold, you can't get rid of me very easily. :)

Have you humped someone today? Happy Hump Day luvahs!

xoxo

Well, hello. I'm Wasted. Who the hell are you?

So now that I am totally and completely recovered from just about the worst hangover of all times I thought I could finally update you all on how our Dirty 30 B-day Bash went. It went... well, it went way too fast and way too drunk. If there is such a thing as too drunk anyway.

I got to see so many of my great friends that I rarely get to see! We rented the party room at the Cab in West Glen which had our own private bar, patio, wait staff and bathroom (story on the bathroom later!)... It worked out perfectly! We had one keg ready to go and ended up purchasing a 2nd one around 11:00 pm. I have NO clue how much of the 2nd one we even drank b/c by the end of the night I was HAMMERED... Regardless, some highlights of the night:

• The weather was perfect which meant the patio was wonderful!


• I'd approximate that throughout the entire night we had about 50 people show up so it was a pretty good turn out.


• Shots galore. Ew.


• We did some titty grabbing. (see 1st picture)


• I puked one of my shots right back out the second I drank it. Tequila. Which is weird b/c usually I can handle tequila. Guess not that time... (remember this part b/c it will have to do w/ the bathroom story)


• Wade got even more drunk than me which is a very rare occurence b/c everyone knows I am the lush in this relationship. Anyway, he decided to go on a "walk" through the neighborhood. He had no clue where he was. I am crying b/c I'm drunk and he had pissed me off and I can't find him. Luckily for him (and me) a friend (thank you Mike!) helped track him down and picked his drunk, lost ass up.


• To be completely honest, I can't give you anymore bullet points b/c I got so drunk that things are very hazy. All I know is I had a blast. So from here on out I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Open your eyes Wade!!!

As for the bathroom story... I can be a bit of a... shall I say, Super mega bitch when I'm drunk. So picture this, I had just thrown up my tequila shot right back into the cup that I had taken it out of and I am still holding it in my hand. Kara was dragging me to the bathroom b/c she thought I was going to be sick (even though I wasn't going to be sick, the shot just didn't sit well for me that time!) :) Anyway, there are these 2 girls waiting in line for the bathroom. I have no clue who they are and neither does Kara. So we ask them if they are with the party to which they reply no they aren't, they just want to use the bathroom. To which I tell them (all the while holding my cup of vomito) to get the hell out of our party room that we paid for b/c this is not their bathroom to use. They came back at me w/ some bitchy remark so I threaten to throw my cup-o-vomit on them. That finally got them to shut up and leave. I know, I am a serious class act threatening to throw puke. But in all seriousness, girls who act superior to others annoy the shit out of me and these girls for some reason felt they were entitled to not have to wait in the regular bathroom line and would come and make a line at ours, that we had paid for and reserved for the night. Not on my watch motherlovers. :)

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In a completely unrelated note, why is it that if I move my pictures around in my post you can no longer click on them to enlarge them once the post is up? Anyone more computer saavy than me and know what the heck is going on there? :)