Talkie, Talkie, No More Talkie

Last night we went over to B & E’s house for a little BBQ get together. A friend was coming through town and staying with them for the night, so what better reason to have a little shindig. I ended up consuming my fair share of wine and wine daquiris (tasty!) but wasn’t trashed or anything, just a nice buzz going. It was a great night and perfect weather to sit out on their screened in porch and enjoy the company.

This morning as I am getting ready for work Wade informs me that I talked in my sleep last night. This is weird b/c we were actually just talking about that subject earlier yesterday and how Wade does it all the time and says the weirdest things which don’t make any sense most of the time. One time he muttered out “shave my balls”. Seriously. No lie. It cracked me up. Anyway, he said that I have spoken in my sleep before, but not very often. However, last night was a different story. (I have my beliefs as to why I would talk in my sleep last night = the wine made me do it.)

So I ask him what I happened to say to him last night in my unconscious drunk passed out state that I was in. This is how the conversation went according to him:

Me: His feet smell!
Wade: Who’s feet smell? (thinking I’m going to say Kobe, my dog, who is laying right in my face)
Me: Wade’s! Can’t you smell them? (pointing to the ceiling)
Wade: Honey, I’m Wade.
Me: Mmmphfff…

How true, how true.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

In other news, happy long weekend! Yay! We’ve got some fun plans going on. Tonight we get to go to the MN State Fair and consume every fried food made ever. I can’t wait. Cheese curds here I come! Tomorrow we are going on a Lake Minnetonka Booze Cruise and Sunday we are going to the Becker’s BBQ. All throughout these fun activities we will hopefully get some much needed work done on the ol’ house. I’m hoping we can get the trim in upstairs and all the new electrical stuff we bought for the upstairs and the office put in. Of course this all depends on Wade since I have no clue how to do any of that. So…here’s to hoping!!! I’ll keep you updated!

Do you ever ask yourself...

Am I a good person? This isn’t a totally deep question. Just in general, do I consider myself to be a good person? I would say that I do consider myself a caring individual, I can empathize with others & I’m generally good to other people & all that other crud. However, then I see a Jetta parked all jacked & taking up 2 good parking spots & I think to myself, what a fuck face.

Must be one of those days…

Another example of my bore-dumb

I’ll Never Get Those 2 Hours of my Life Back

(Please note before you read this, there is a large amount of swearing coming up. I apologize. However, if you know me, this should not come as a surprise and if it offends you stop reading now. Easy enuf.)

Some of you who know my husband know he is quirky and silly. He sure makes me laugh (most of the time) and he is always up to have fun. Ever since I’ve known him he’s always talked about this movie made back in 1974 that is “freaking hilarious”. Somehow he miraculously found this movie on http://www.amazon.com/ and promptly ordered it. All for a steal at only $10 (and that includes S & H!) So I believed him when he said it was funny. I mean he is a funny man after all, and he says I am funny (which, duh, I am), so I assumed he knew what funny was. That was until last night when the movie arrived and he graciously waited for me to return from my errands before he started watching it. Thanks hun.

Enter ‘Dolemite’

So the basis of this movie, to put it simply, is about a pimp who was framed and jailed(Dolemite) and told he will get his freedom if he helps the cops find out who is selling illegal firearms and drugs on the streets. Being the badass that he is, his oldest and wisest ho, Queen Bee, has already trained all of his hookers to be kung fu killers to help him. Basically what happens from there is a lot of unnecessary humping, horribly unskilled fighting, terrible sound editing (I know, it’s from 1974), and an unimaginable amount of swearing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know you are all saying “But Kellie, you swear like a sailor”. Shit, I know folks, I know. However, when every other sentence is “This is Motha Fucking Dolemite” or “I’m Motha Fucking Dolemite” or “I’m Dolemite, Motha Fuckers”, it gets a little old. Now don’t get me wrong, not everything about this movie was bad. The outfits in it were awesome. And some of the fighting scenes were so terribly bad that they were funny, but those were the only good things about it really. Take a looksee…
The 'fro says it all.
Here is Dolemite w/ his Kung Fu Killers right before he makes a man “Dance, Motha Fucker, Dance! Man, he’s got rhythm ladies, don’t he?”
Nice pimp hat, Mother Fucker!
Now don’t he look like the perfect pimp? The Kung Fu Killers really love him.
Oh wow, no words to describe this.
One of the several bad fight scenes
The hat, the bow tie, the jacket piping, it’s all priceless.
(Yes, this is an actual quote from the movie)

Anyway, needless to say, I didn’t really see what all Wade was finding “freaking hilarious”. Tell me now, have I lost my sense of humor? I thought the entire movie was just ridiculously bad. Terrible. Horrendous. A giant waste of the 2 hours spent watching it. So, who can I talk to about getting those 2 hours of my life back? And if the movie really was funny (God, forbid) where can I find my sense of humor since I seem to have checked it at the door? Hmmm...

*Update: No way. While searching for pictures to post on this blog entry I found out that there is a sequel called “The Dolemite Explosion” due out in 2008. This can’t be true. Seriously?

Bore-dumb

20 reasons that prove that this week at work has been SOOOOO slow*:

1. I’ve been singing the stupid “Spider Pig” song from The Simpsons Movie in my head for the past 6 hours.

2. I’ve been reading random people’s blogs and making new blog friends (there are some great and hilarious blogs out there!)

3. I’ve actually made a list (a short list) of possible names for my unborn (and not yet conceived) child (& we aren’t even TRYING yet)

4. I’ve also made a list of things I want to do before I die; this list continues to get longer and longer. It’s kind of depressing really.

5. I submitted my picture onto http://www.beautifulpeople.net/ to determine if random attractive men on this planet consider me attractive enough to be a member (lucky me, they do, phew! I was really worried! NOT!) Seriously, who says that anymore???

6. I also submitted Wade’s picture to see if he was an attractive enough mate for me (since I am in what is supposedly the top 10% of attractive women, I need myself a hot man). Lucky for him, he was voted as attractive as well and I’ll keep him around. Wait, I already knew that! Of course he’s hot! Smokin! Duh!

7. I’m a picker, yes, I admit it. If there is even a semblance of a scab on my body I pick at it. I now have 3 new spots on my left arm and 1 on my right that I have continuously picked at all week. I’m sure they will all scab over and scar. Beautiful. No, gross. Sorry.

8. I keep looking at my bill pay and hope more bills came in just so I can submit a payment to them and occupy myself for 1 minute (seriously, who wants bills to come due!?!)

9. I’m constantly clicking on http://www.people.com/ to see if there are any celebrity news updates (and there are! Tila Tequila’s g/f is cited for battery! Oh my!!! And Ricky Martin just had twin boys via a surrogate. If this doesn’t prove that he’s gay, I don’t know what will!)

10. I have started a list of Christmas gifts that I want and possible gifts to give to others. Can we say “plan ahead much”???

11. I am seriously CRAVING a pomegranate mojito from Stella’s. I need alcohol. Really, any kind will do at this point. It will just make things go by faster and seem more interesting. I’m so bored it’s turning me into an alcoholic.

12. My co-workers and I were just debating on how disgusting bacon coated in chocolate sounds. Seriously, who eats that?!?! (See, we are ALL bored here, it’s not just me)

13. I seriously think I can feel my ass getting stuck to my chair seat I've been sitting in it for so long…

14. I’ve been twitter, twitter, twittering!

15. I’ve noticed that I have way too many lists started…

16. I’ve been doodling many different possible designs for my next tattoo (but I can’t decide where I want to get it!)

17. I’ve noticed (by my constant visiting of people.com) that a lot of celebrities have the stupidest names for their children: Shiloh, Suri, Apple, Coco, Rumur, etc. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb… Oh and Matthew McConaughey is HOT (but I already knew that).

18. I’ve learned that sometimes animals rain from the sky. Mostly frogs and fish, but seriously, it’s on wikipedia, so it MUST be true. Wikipedia rules. It takes away my boredom for a bit by looking up random and stupid stuff.

19. I googled my name, my old maiden name, and Wade’s name. Found a lot of boring stuff (besides my blog, which rules of course), and apparently there is a folk singer w/ my maiden name, and a lot of racing crud on Wade. Wow, boring.

And the last reason that proves it is DEAD in my office...

20. I’m making this stupid and silly list.


(*Note: I’m fully aware that most of you will find this list completely dumb, probably a little amusing at most, however, this is just exactly how extremely dead our office has been this whole week)

Now get me a drink STAT!!!

The Earth Will Certainly Thank You!

As some of you know I am interested in doing my part to make the planet that much healthier (although not in any obsessive way). I'm not going to go hugely out of my way, but I always try to reduce, reuse and recycle (I am an avid recycler), I use the long lasting and energy saving light bulbs, and whenever I find something easy that helps the environment I hop on board. Here is one super easy way to make the planet just a little greener w/ little work on your part. Discontinue receiving phone books, those dang pesky and bulky books that end up on your doorstep several times throughout the year (even when you didn't ask for one!). We all know that any phone number or address we need that is listed in these phone books can also be found online. So why continue to receive the large tree killing books!?! I know that when I receive one it automatically goes straight into my recycling bin. My house isn't big enough to hold all these huge books, nor do we need them, I just never knew how to opt out. Now you do! To remove yourself from their mailing lists simply visit this site:
http://www.yellowpagesgoesgreen.org/
Click on "sign up" to stop recieving phone books. I just did it and it took me one minute, tops.

And while your at it, if you have a free minute or two, here are some interesting facts:
http://www.yellowpagesgoesgreen.org/answers.html

Holla atcha Mother Earth!

A Little B-day Boogy-ing

A little late update on Wade’s b-day weekend spent in G-burg…

We took off Friday (the 1st) and Monday (the 4th) to make a long b-day weekend for Wade. Wade raced Friday and Saturday nights and was really excited to be able to race on “good” tracks finally. He says all the tracks up here are shitty. On Friday night he definitely had the largest fan club in attendance. Basically his whole family was there to cheer him on and it was great to get to see all of them. And lucky for us, it was also the Knox County Fair, so we got to enjoy the beer tent as well as his race.

Me & Kara in the beer tent

Wendy, Lance & I all look so cool!

Sam's the ladies man!

He raced quite well Friday night, but he did even better on Saturday when no one was there to cheer him on except his racing buds, Lance and Rick. Must have been too much pressure w/ everyone there!

Wade's youngest race fan, Gage (what a cutie!)

While he was busy racing we hit the lake. Milly, Kara and I enjoyed cruising around and taking a dip at the shallow area. Kobe and Otis on the other hand hated it.

The weather was picture perfect the entire weekend! We couldn’t have asked for any better. Wendy, Z and Bo Naughty joined us out on the boat on Saturday. Bo got a soaking and he was quite pissed. But it was fun to watch him swim in his life preserver.

Kobe did not care for the life preserver either!We all had a blast!

Sunday morning we got to golf 9 holes and my game improved from last time, (thankfully!), but it still pretty much sucked. The improvement must have been b/c of my new golf glove. I’m sure of it! After golfing Kara, Wade and I headed to his dad’s house for a family pool party. Good food, good drinks and good water volleyball! We had a lot of fun getting to see all the nieces and nephew. They’re getting so dang tall! They TOWER over me!

It was a great long weekend and I definitely didn’t want to go back to work Tuesday, but then again, when do I want to go back to work??? Gotta pay da bills tho, yo!

(Ah, the life of a dog...)

This last weekend was Brad & Erika’s MN reception at Bryant Lake Park. It was an absolutely gorgeous day! It turned out perfectly. Afterwards we all headed out to Uptown Drink and got some food and had a great night out. We played some Big Buck Hunter, which I LOVE! Here are some funny pics from that night out. It was a lot of fun.

Kara & her fried walleye fingers (they were pretty gross)

Big Buck Hunter - I rule!
Jenny shooting Kara cause she looks like a tard (ok, sorry that wasn't very nice) :)
Kara trying to be as good of a buck hunter as I am. :)
Double barrels Wade
One of the only normal pics of the night :)

Coming up this weekend we will be going on a motorcycle ride w/ some friends all day Saturday and hitting the bars along the way. Then on Sunday we get to go to Valley Fair for Wade’s company outing. Valley Fair is always a good time. I love the Steel Venom ride! I swear my stomach comes out my throat and that is always fun!

Adieu!

Wordle Me Timbers!

So I was directed to this fun website: http://www.wordle.net/. It's really quite simple and kind of silly. But I was bored so I made one using my blog as the source of words. This is what it pulled out. My favorite is the very top left word. Mmmm....Beer. :)

50 things

So out of boredom I decided to do my own version of 100 things, however I cut mine in 1/2 b/c let's face it, that's a long list of things that you probably could care less about. So mine is 50 things. Enjoy!

1. I got in a car accident the 1st day I drove my 1st car (a baby blue Ford Tempo) and I about peed my pants it scared me so bad
2. The 1st time I ever tried alcohol I got drunk on 1 ½ beers (can you say light weight?)
3. I’m a huge klutz
4. I lost my virginity at 17
5. My only brushes w/ celebrities: Lesli Neilson and Kevin Sorbo (here are the pics to prove it)

6. I want to travel the world and my 1st stop would be Italy!
7. I wouldn’t mind moving back to Des Moines at some point in the future
8. I like getting dressed up and feeling pretty
9. I love food, eating out, trying new things and I HATE to cook
10. I love to draw and paint but I think I suck at it
11. I think life would really suck without music
12. My favorite sound to hear is the ocean
13. My favorite toy growing up were Barbies
14. I love the outdoors, especially lakes and oceans
15. I hate slow drivers (I miraculously only have gotten 1 speeding ticket ever)
16. My favorite fair food is cheese curds
17. I am addicted to social networking sites
18. I think Mario Kart Wii is fucking awesome
19. I love Steak and Shake cheese fries
20. As I get older, I get more nervous of heights
21. I get road rage very easily
22. I can triple roll my tongue
23. I can’t stand people with huge egos
24. I love toilet humor; loud farts make me laugh (as long as they don’t smell)
25. I love blasting Marilyn Manson’s “Beautiful People” while driving in my car
26. I have a bad habit of biting my lower lip
27. I think “The Family Guy” is a hilarious show
28. People who always think they are right bother the hell out of me
29. I look forward to the future so much that I sometimes can’t wait for it to get here
30. I have an intense fear of spiders (and really any bug for that matter)
31. My worst injury ever was getting 3 stitches on my chin when I was around 4 years old (I hit my chin on a coffee table while laying on my stomach and spinning in circles on it)
32. A few years later I broke my chin open again playing tag during recess and trying to run up a slide (it didn’t work as planned)
33. I am in awe of my husband and all the things he can do (he is so handy) and how easily and fast he can fix things
34. The first concert I ever went to was “Color Me Bad”
35. I can be extremely competitive
36. I loved Fraggle Rock growing up
37. My dream job would be an interior decorator
38. I am addicted to reality TV (drama!)
39. I get my morning caffeine by Mt. Dew or Dr. Pepper
40. My job bores the shit out of me most days
41. I have a weakness for shoes and purses (surprise, surprise)
42. I love babies but I am petrified of being a mother someday
43. I have an obsession w/ celebrities and real estate
44. I’m a HUGE procrastinator
45. I sometimes like animals more than people
46. I am a bit of a control freak on things
47. When I was young I always wanted to be a vet
48. I have a huge fear of failure
49. I had an intense crush on Joey McIntire when I was young
50. I think skinny dipping rules

Yeah, I know some of these are lame, but I tried to keep it somewhat interesting. Either way, that is me. It is what it is.