Quickie time!

Don't get too overly excited. It's not the kind of quickie you all are thinking about. Dirty minds. But that is why I love you.

I have been kind of MIA on my blog lately. Just posting the wordless Wed and my want it posts for the most part and that is b/c I've been in a funk. Not a bad funk. But just sort of tired and mopey. I'm blaming it on the season's starting to change (although in reality it could just be PMS). Don't get me wrong, I love fall. I love the leaves changing and the smell of Autumn, backyard fires, Halloween, football and fabulous boots. But at the same time it just reminds me of what is quickly approaching...

Winter. Blah.

I hate winter. If winter only lasted a month or maybe even 2 I would love it b/c cold weather doesn't really bother me all that much plus it gives me excuses to buy cute coats, scarves, hats, etc. But up here in grand ole Minnesota the winter lasts FAR TOO LONG. We're talking 5 months of cold. And at least 2 months of BITTER, nasty, freeze my friggin ass off COLD. Many weeks without seeing so much as a single ray of sun and snow, snow, snow combined with ice at the most wonderful times. And well, it just drags me down.

So excuse me while I pout about it for a while. I'll be back to my normal self by tomorrow since after all, it's FRIDAY bitches!

xoxo~



*Update: Wade just let me know he just bought the parts to convert our garage fridge into a kegerator. This weekend is looking up. Keg in our garage. You're all invited. :)

Bubba's Resume

Lady friends, I've got something good for you today:
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My Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond too me good. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling aint to good but find that I Offen can get a job wit my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I kin start emeditely.

Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly, Bubba

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:....

Dear Bubba,

It's OK, we've got spell check.

See you Monday.

Some Silliness for Tuesday

I don't have much for you today. I'm working on getting a post together about last weekend's trip up north to Bessemer and I have GREAT pictures to go with it but our computer took a shit on us last week (something about the power supply going bad). So...I've only got Wade's work computer to use and I doubt he would like to have 100 drunk pictures uploaded onto it. So I need to find another way to get them online. It's craptastic. So for today I leave you with this list of silliness. God it's so silly. I mean seriously silly. Read them and then tell me you didn't giggle at least once. Like a little school girl giggle. You guys are so silly.
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FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.
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Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
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Welcome to Utah. Set your watch back 20 years.
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A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
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The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
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KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.
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Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
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I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
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Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,how was the play?
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Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.
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Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
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I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
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Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
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I FOUND JESUS! He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana.

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Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

(Damn it, I'm back to reality.)

Baby it's F*#%ing cold outside

It’s currently 17 degrees out and it feels like a flipping heat wave! The past 4-5 days the high has hovered around 5 degrees so this is some serious heat. And that my friends really makes me sad. Seriously, just call me Debbie Downer. Or Sad Panda. I go by both. 17 degrees feels warm?!?! WTF? Also, I’ve been outside a total of 3 times today and I’ve almost fallen on my ass 3 times. I’m batting at 1.000. I’m so good, I’m perfect. Do you know how ridiculous I look when I "almost" fall on my ass? I think I'd rather fall all the way down b/c it would look better plopping my ass on the nasty slush covered ground than it does with me trying not to fall and my arms flailing around in the air attempting to balance myself as my feet are slipping in different directions trying to make me do something I haven't done since high school (the splits). Yes, I admit, I am a total klutz. I think it is attractive. It totally brings in the men. They are basically knocking my door down. I have to fend them off w/ my karate type moves that I learned in kickboxing.

Also, this snow/ice shit is slicker than snot. Not only do I nearly fall w/ every step I take but my car slips around corners, nearly slides through stop signs and spins out every time I attempt to move from a stopped position. Watch out pedestrians, you ARE in harms way! You’d think I was driving too fast but nope, I’m going an average of 8 mph. The plow trucks seriously suck. You’d think they’d get out and actually know how to remove snow from the roads being that this is the fricking north pole (well, ok, it’s not, but it feels like it is) but noooooo….. That would mean someone would actually know how to do their job! To top it all off some piss head cut me off today and I had to slam my brakes and attempt to stop on the slippery shit covering the street. Seriously people? Don’t you realize I WILL hit you? You cannot stop on this crap. What a stupid ass chunk. MN drivers can blow me. They are the most wretched drivers I’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding. Ask any of my friends from out of town and they swear they have almost lost their lives while driving up here to visit me.

Beware: Visiting Kellie = 71% chance of losing your life to moronic MN drivers

(Other than that I have nothing against this cold mother fucker of a state. I actually quite like it. But seriously, learn how to drive Minnesotans.)

And that is my rant for the day. Thank God I have happy hour tonight. Followed by kickboxing. Maybe kickboxing will be added to my list of things that are fun to do drunk. Or maybe it will be added to my list of things to NOT do when drunk. We will soon see I guess. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is more fun b/c then I’d have an excuse to go to it drunk all the time. Then I'd be "living the dream". Haha! (Beth will get that quote, everyone else will probably just think it's dumb).

If this post doesn't get you in the holiday spirit then I don't know what will! Bah Humbug!

Sincerely,

Scrooge McGee :)

Another One of Those Days

It's another one of those days. I walk into the office and I am greeted with instant annoyance. Somehow a man has gotten to our roll over line (which I always have to answer) and is asking for a commercial loan. I transfer him to my boss to deal with. These calls really should not come through our roll over so it is always awkward when they do. In fact, I recognize this man's voice from a call I had on Tuesday. He had called and was asking for the same thing except at that time no one was in the office for me to transfer him to b/c it was lunch time. So I was trying to be as helpful as possible and I ask to take down his information so that I could have someone get back to him. He seemed adamant about getting into the voicemail of someone, however I can't just put him into someone's voicemail without knowing at least a little bit about what he is needing. So I ask him to give me at least a little of an idea about his needs. He is very vague and finally just flat out hangs up on me. At 1st this really pissed me off. Here I was, trying to be as helpful as possible and he is a fucking prick to me. I find it incredibly rude for someone to hang up on another person. I'm one of those people who even feel bad hanging up on telemarketers b/c hey, they are people too! (They must really love me). And then I felt bad for not being able to help him. I didn’t want him to have a bad image of our company and I hated not being able to do what he needed. So he left me feeling bad and pissed at the same time.

Anyway, today I recognize his voice and put him through to my boss. He is really happy w/ me this time around. About 3 minutes later my boss walks out and says to me that he was a recruiter and had no need for a commercial loan. It was just his ploy to get to speak to someone in the department. Now I'm really pissed. Not only was he rude to me 2 days prior, but he was completely lying to me about his reason for calling. I had felt bad for not being helpful after he had hung up on me the first time and it pissed me off that he had made me feel bad. And also, why doesn’t he want to recruit me? Am I not good enough? WTF asshole? I really need a raise to put up w/ this kind of shit.

Do you ever ask yourself...

Am I a good person? This isn’t a totally deep question. Just in general, do I consider myself to be a good person? I would say that I do consider myself a caring individual, I can empathize with others & I’m generally good to other people & all that other crud. However, then I see a Jetta parked all jacked & taking up 2 good parking spots & I think to myself, what a fuck face.

Must be one of those days…