I've got a, I've got a pocket full of sherbert

I know, I know. My posting is seriously lacking lately. It’s just that I don’t have anything exciting to share with ya’ll. I think I’ve definitely reached the boredom stage of pregnancy. I can’t play volleyball this summer, I can’t drink, I can only minimally work out now since I tire so damn easily, I’m congested, I feel huge yet know there is still so far to go (15 more weeks still!!!!) and I’m exhausted 95% of the time. Also I feel like I'm waddling. Sometimes my hips will hurt and when I start walking I can feel myself waddling but it hurts to walk normal. Not hot, I know. But whatever. I did score this cute ass onsie that says "Rock Me" on it w/ some baby leg warmers. How's that for cute? And Nugget's wardrobe is growing faster than uncontrolled herpes so it's a good thing her dresser came in over the weekend!

My MIL bought me a pregnancy “journal” before we even became pregnant b/c as she said “it was on sale”. Ha! In it there are spaces to fill out how you are feeling and how much weight you’ve gained and how big your belly has become. Today I measured my belly from the widest part around and I am just shy of 35 inches. I feel as big as a planet. I think things are going to start orbiting around me soon in their own path w/ my gravitational pull. And I’m not even going to tell you how much I weigh b/c even though I know putting this weight on is for a good cause (grow little Nugget!) it’s still hard to see that scale keep rising higher and higher and higher.

Currently I am craving strawberries. Or even just strawberry flavored stuff. Strawberry pop, smoothies, ice cream, slushies, taffy, desserts, anything. I can’t get enough of it. Strawberries are like crack to me. Luckily I convinced Wade to buy me some strawberry sherbert last night so I’ve got a bucket full of sunshine in my freezer just waiting for me.

This past weekend the weather was BEAUTIFUL. Perfect really. We spent the majority of it outdoors and I even got a little sun. I gave my car a thorough cleaning in and out, read a book on the deck, went to the gym, took Kobe on a walk and helped (by helped I mean watched) Wade and Keith unload rock into our garden we planted last spring. (Thanks Keith!!) So the garden is finally complete. Although 2 plants didn’t come back so I’ll need to buy something to replace them. The damn rabbit ate them into the ground. Of course you realize this means war you wascally wabbit.

We did get to go out and be social Saturday night when a group of about 16 of us met for dinner at Buca di Beppo’s. Good time and delicious food. I even had a small glass of wine. I think I can still taste it b/c it was so good. :) Other than that nothing new in our neck of the woods. How bout ya’ll? Was your weekend weather as nice as ours? I’m hoping this coming weekend will be equally as nice and my allergies stay away! One can dream, right?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I passed my glucose test w/ flying colors so one less hurdle and pass me the chocolates.

Cheers!

What is paper???

After uploading these I realized they are small. You'll probably need to click on them to read them. Damn it. I should have paid more attention to Liz's post explaining how to make large images. :) Whatever. I'm a lazy fucker.

Smooches~

Piss Fest

Somebody told me recently that I should be drinking something like 8 glasses of water a day. I have no idea what all this water drinking is supposed to accomplish. To some of you this may be old news. However I was left out in the cold on this one. Probably b/c people who know me know I prefer to drink beer or vodka or rum or…well, pick your fancy, so they’ve never broached this subject with me. However, now that I know this useful tidbit of information I decided that it would be good for me to try to guzzle down 8 glasses of water throughout the day today. So far I have ingested what equals probably 3 glasses of water and a Dr. Pepper. (B/c that is what the doctor ordered.)

And I have been pissing non stop.

I’m sure my co-workers probably have noticed my frequent bathroom visits especially since prior to today I used to go to the restroom at work maybe once a day. Maybe. Sometimes I didn’t go at all. I’ve got a bladder of steel. So they probably think I have a urinary tract infection or something. OR even worse yet, diarrhea! Oh dear Lawd. They probably think that I have to keep running to the bathroom so that I don’t shat myself!

What does drinking all this water even do for me? Cleanse out my bladder? Make sure my hands are clean all day from all the hand washing? Make me look like Kiera Knightly? Because I don’t think it is really worth it to have to be running to the bathroom every hour (unless it will make me look like Kiera and then I’m game).
And I haven’t even drunk half the amount that you are supposed to consume yet. I just feel bloated and full.

This is bull shit.

Everyone Loves a Little Porker

This lil porker's mama couldn't care for him for some reason, so this lovely little Dachshund took him in as one of her own and loved him and squeezed him and pet him and licked him and kept him forever. His name is Pink. Isn't it adorable? Sorry. I have nothing much for you again today. I suck. (That's what she said)

Happy Monday! Yeah, right. Monday's blow and we all know it.

Bubba's Resume

Lady friends, I've got something good for you today:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond too me good. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling aint to good but find that I Offen can get a job wit my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I kin start emeditely.

Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly, Bubba

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:....

Dear Bubba,

It's OK, we've got spell check.

See you Monday.

It's Alright Now, In Fact It's A Gas!

This Saturday we have decided that we are going to go watch monster trucks at the Monster Jam in the Metrodome. (You may start your white trash references now) This kind of event is fun to me for two reasons:
1. I get to get schnockered
2. I get to laugh at all the inbred, wife-beater wearing, mullet growing hicks that are sure to be there.

The white-t seriously flock to these events like zombies to brains. Or like me to alcohol. Either way. Anything to do with motorized racing, crashing, smashing, etc, and you can guarantee that they will be there and screaming their heads off.

Wade and I decided to go to this after figuring out we have absolutely no plans scheduled for this weekend and it is a freaking arctic frozen tundra up here as of lately. (Seriously, the high today was -5 degrees. NEGATIVE! Screw you winter!) After we determined we had no plans we tried to come up with something that would be fun to do. We decided that getting trashed and going to the Monster Jam could prove to be fun. So we are going to go bar hopping prior to the event and by the time we get there we will be sloshed. Do you think it is sad that this is our idea of fun in this cold ass freezing state we live in? Personally I do. It’s a sad day in my social life. I never thought I’d see myself resorting to getting lit while watching hicks drive big trucks over small cars and smash them up. Super smash!

I’m sure by now you all are probably thinking that I must be the most hick chick to go along with this. Heck, I play Big Buck Hunter, go to dive bars and even go shooting over my holiday vacation (which is another option of something we may do this weekend). I belong in a van down by the river. I’m pretty sure that the next thing you know Wade and I will be moving to Arkansas and living in a trailer park with my Aunt Maude and Uncle Cletus. Seriously I think this boredumb will be the death of me.

Wade and I's wedding picture (aren't we smokin?)

Coming up next: I’ll be showing you pictures of my mullet growing progress. Boy is it getting long!

I Don't Do Crack, Crack Is Cheap

I stole this idea off of Exmi. The thing is to list 5 things that are your current version of crack. Stuff you can’t get enough of.

1. My new iPhone. It has internet, games, texting, GPS, camera, weather, etc. It is so fun to play with I have completely ignored my hubby (who graciously got it for me for Christmas) for the past week. Sorry hun.

2. Wine. I love wine. I’m pretty sure I am more happy with a glass of wine in my hand than any other time. The holidays allow me to splurge on my wine habit and therefore I love the holidays. What? I’m not an alcoholic. At least not that I know of. But don’t you dare threaten to take away my drink or you will unleash the beast!

3. Body lotion. The air/weather is SO super dry here in the winter my skin gets flaky and I feel like I’m going to shrivel up into nothing. I need to lather this crud on to even have some semblance of normal feel to my skin.

4. Papa John’s Garlic Butter dipping sauce. Seriously, I think they actually do put crack in this stuff. We ordered pizza from there on Sunday night when we got back in town and I basically drank this stuff it is so damn good. I just had my last piece for lunch today and was trying to figure out something good to dip in the remainder of the sauce but alas I had to toss it b/c we haven’t been to the store in ages and all I could muster up were some Cheetoh puffs and for some reason that just sounded too buttery/cheesy for me to try. I cried a little when I threw away what was left. Sob.

5. Purses. I am addicted to purses. Always have been, always will be. I have a large collection of them. My in-laws tease me about how many I have and actually gave me an old, used purse as a joke for Christmas. Unfortunately it is pretty ugly so I won’t use it. Dang it.

So what are your current addictions?

Tonight is kickboxing class. It's been awhile since we've been there due to the holidays. I'm a little nervous as to how he's going to work us. I'm sure he'll work our asses off. Well, at least that wouldn't be a bad thing. My ass is getting out of control. But really I just want to relax w/ a glass of wine. What? It's like crack to me.

I will hopefully be getting a post up on a 2008 recap, but don’t hold your breath. I’m a busy little bee here lately.

Another example of my bore-dumb

Bore-dumb

20 reasons that prove that this week at work has been SOOOOO slow*:

1. I’ve been singing the stupid “Spider Pig” song from The Simpsons Movie in my head for the past 6 hours.

2. I’ve been reading random people’s blogs and making new blog friends (there are some great and hilarious blogs out there!)

3. I’ve actually made a list (a short list) of possible names for my unborn (and not yet conceived) child (& we aren’t even TRYING yet)

4. I’ve also made a list of things I want to do before I die; this list continues to get longer and longer. It’s kind of depressing really.

5. I submitted my picture onto http://www.beautifulpeople.net/ to determine if random attractive men on this planet consider me attractive enough to be a member (lucky me, they do, phew! I was really worried! NOT!) Seriously, who says that anymore???

6. I also submitted Wade’s picture to see if he was an attractive enough mate for me (since I am in what is supposedly the top 10% of attractive women, I need myself a hot man). Lucky for him, he was voted as attractive as well and I’ll keep him around. Wait, I already knew that! Of course he’s hot! Smokin! Duh!

7. I’m a picker, yes, I admit it. If there is even a semblance of a scab on my body I pick at it. I now have 3 new spots on my left arm and 1 on my right that I have continuously picked at all week. I’m sure they will all scab over and scar. Beautiful. No, gross. Sorry.

8. I keep looking at my bill pay and hope more bills came in just so I can submit a payment to them and occupy myself for 1 minute (seriously, who wants bills to come due!?!)

9. I’m constantly clicking on http://www.people.com/ to see if there are any celebrity news updates (and there are! Tila Tequila’s g/f is cited for battery! Oh my!!! And Ricky Martin just had twin boys via a surrogate. If this doesn’t prove that he’s gay, I don’t know what will!)

10. I have started a list of Christmas gifts that I want and possible gifts to give to others. Can we say “plan ahead much”???

11. I am seriously CRAVING a pomegranate mojito from Stella’s. I need alcohol. Really, any kind will do at this point. It will just make things go by faster and seem more interesting. I’m so bored it’s turning me into an alcoholic.

12. My co-workers and I were just debating on how disgusting bacon coated in chocolate sounds. Seriously, who eats that?!?! (See, we are ALL bored here, it’s not just me)

13. I seriously think I can feel my ass getting stuck to my chair seat I've been sitting in it for so long…

14. I’ve been twitter, twitter, twittering!

15. I’ve noticed that I have way too many lists started…

16. I’ve been doodling many different possible designs for my next tattoo (but I can’t decide where I want to get it!)

17. I’ve noticed (by my constant visiting of people.com) that a lot of celebrities have the stupidest names for their children: Shiloh, Suri, Apple, Coco, Rumur, etc. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb… Oh and Matthew McConaughey is HOT (but I already knew that).

18. I’ve learned that sometimes animals rain from the sky. Mostly frogs and fish, but seriously, it’s on wikipedia, so it MUST be true. Wikipedia rules. It takes away my boredom for a bit by looking up random and stupid stuff.

19. I googled my name, my old maiden name, and Wade’s name. Found a lot of boring stuff (besides my blog, which rules of course), and apparently there is a folk singer w/ my maiden name, and a lot of racing crud on Wade. Wow, boring.

And the last reason that proves it is DEAD in my office...

20. I’m making this stupid and silly list.


(*Note: I’m fully aware that most of you will find this list completely dumb, probably a little amusing at most, however, this is just exactly how extremely dead our office has been this whole week)

Now get me a drink STAT!!!